Most of us have already caught on with the lack of quality programs that we’re exposed to on TV. Either we get news dumping on us all the bad things that have been happening on the world and telling us who to blame; TV shows to keep us distracted from what’s really going on; or reality shows that only keep us focused on gossip and drama.
But if this wasn’t bad enough as it is – TV and the Media have, in the process, been ruining people’s relationships too…
Have you ever caught yourself wanting your love life to be like it is in the movies? To be swept off your feet by your charming man, or to find that person with whom you can sacrifice everything for because in the end you’ll be together?
If that is your case, I’m afraid I don’t have good news for you. The truth is, the Media has been deliberately influencing your idea of love negatively for decades – which is about the reason you probably never realised it was happening, in the first place.
So, let’s start from the beginning, shall we?
3 Ways The Media Has Been Negatively Influencing Your Idea Of Love
1. The Strong Woman And The Emotional Man
This may surprise you, but men don’t like strong women; and women don’t like emotional men. Or, let me rephrase this: Men don’t like women that are cold and have lost touch with their femininity; And woman can’t feel attracted to needy and too emotional men. However, turn on the TV and that’s precisely what you’ll be seeing…
Yes, we all have different tastes – we’re all different. But – biologically speaking – we’re all “wired” the same way. And the truth is, thousands of years ago, life wasn’t as it is today.
Men’s role used to be hunting and providing for the family – so it was required that he were strong and strategic; women’s role was to stay home nurturing the children and family – so the more feminine she was the better she’d be at fulfilling her social role. Taking in account Darwin’s theory of evolution – the strongest and more leader-like men survived and carried out their genes to future generations; and the most feminine women would too as they’d be seen as more attractive to men.
Now, consider what Media shows today. More and more, women are portrayed as strong and cold, and men are portrayed as emotional and needy – which goes directly against what each gender finds biologically attractive.
This is really bad news because it leads people to believe that that’s how they have to present themselves to have the attention of the opposite gender. Which inevitably results in misunderstandings and failed relationships…
If this has already happened to you click below to find out how you can surpass it:
2. The Idealization Of Love And Suffering
It seems that people all around have accepted that, to be in love, there has to be suffering. Don’t get me wrong, I’m well aware that couples go through rough-patches and, personally, I believe there’s nothing wrong with that. What I’m referring to is to the theme of millions of love songs that portray love as suffering. Here’s what you need to consider about it:
– This affects how children see love. Come to think of it, children are the most vulnerable ones in this situation. They’re constantly exposed to this idea and will inevitably act on it because it is one of the only expressions of love they know. This means they’ll go through a lot more heartache than they have to because they believe that’s how they should let others know they love them.
If you want to make sure your children have happy futures regarding their relationships, teach them these things instead.
– And it makes people believe that we must suffer to love someone. Love is the most beautiful feeling we experience. Shouldn’t love be enough, then? I don’t know about you, but I refuse to love anyone that I’d have to suffer to be with or to be the object of desire of. Loving someone is something we do for ourselves too. So, when we accept that we must suffer to love someone we’re neglecting ourselves – which is one of the reasons why people go into toxic relationships, in the first place.
So, your rule of thumb should be: Do I feel five times more love and happiness than sadness and pain?
Love and happiness should be ultimate drivers in your relationship. If that isn’t happening, it’s time to re-analyse it.
3. The Glorification Of Sacrifice As A Form Of Love
And here’s one other being portrayed in almost all romantic movies as “love”.
For some reason, sacrifice has been painted as a proof of one’s love. Alright – hold on. How messed up is it that someone has to sacrifice themselves to prove they love us? Why is it that we believe that to love someone we have to neglect how we feel and what we want?
For one, this makes people go through a lot of pain. Second, it implies we have to put our needs on the back burner if we love the other person – or we expect that of them, which we both know is just selfishness. Third, it inevitably makes people stay in crappy, worn-out relationships, because of the time they’ve already put in the relationship. Forth, and equally worse – it keeps people from going after the things they truly want.
This idea isn’t just detrimental, it also influences us to accept toxic behaviours as normal, and as a part of love. So much so, it’s likely you believe that some of these behaviours are a sign of love.
A love where people have to sacrifice what they want for others and that is more painful than happy – isn’t love. And we’d all do better to understand this difference if we want to share a deep connection with someone. Because believing toxic behaviours are acceptable isn’t just hurting us, it is also hurting the ones we love.
So, pay attention to the things you allow Media to make you believe about love – and remember that life isn’t a fairy tale – It is better.